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President Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condoleezza Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
President Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleezza Rice: Hu is the new leader of China. President Bush: That’s what I want to know. Condoleezza Rice: That’s what I’m telling you. President Bush: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes.
President Bush: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condoleezza Rice: Hu.
President Bush: The guy in China.
Condoleezza Rice: Hu.
President Bush: The new leader of China.
Condoleezza Rice: Hu.
President Bush: The Chinaman!
Condoleezza Rice: Hu is leading China.
President Bush: Now whaddya’ asking me for? Condoleezza Rice: I’m telling you Hu is leading China. President Bush: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condoleezza Rice: That’s the man’s name.
President Bush: That’s who’s name?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes.
President Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleezza Rice: That’s correct.
President Bush: Then who is in China?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: Yassir is in China?
Condoleezza Rice: No, sir.
President Bush: Then who is?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: Yassir?
Condoleezza Rice: No, sir.
President Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condoleezza Rice: Kofi?
President Bush: No, thanks.
Condoleezza Rice: You want Kofi?
President Bush: No.
Condoleezza Rice: You don’t want Kofi.
President Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condoleezza Rice: Kofi?
President Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condoleezza Rice: And call who?
President Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleezza Rice: Hu is the guy in China.
President Bush: Will you stay out of China?! Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleezza Rice: Kofi.
President Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Dr. Rice picks up the phone.) Condoleezza Rice: Rice, here.
President Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Sarunājas divi kaimiņi:
– Zini, vakar tava žurka bija ielīdusi manā dārzā..
– Bet man nemaz nav žurkas! Man ir taksis.
– Nezinu, nezinu. Pēc mana kaķa domām tā bija žurka…

Divas blondīnes stāv autobusa pieturā. Viena gaida 2. autobusu, otra – 7. Atbrauc 27. autobuss.
Viena no blondīnēm:
– Lieliski! Varēsim braukt kopā!

Strīds par to, kas ir mīlestība.
Profesors:
– Mīlestība ir slimība, no kuras cilvēks nonāk gultā.
Ārsts:
– Kas nu tā par slimību, ja neviens negrib ārstēties? Nē,
mīlestība ir darbs.
Direktors:
– Kas nu tas par darbu, ja galvenais orgāns stāv? Nē, mīlestība ir
process.
Advokāts:
– Kas nu tas par procesu, ja abas puses ir apmierinātas? Nē,
mīlestība ir māksla.
Gleznotājs:
– Kas nu tā par mākslu, ja to var kurš katrs? Nē, mīlestība ir
zinātne.
Profesors:
– Kas nu tā par zinātni, ja students var, bet es ne?

Stomatologa kabinetā pacients izvelk naudasmaku.
Ārsts iebilst:
– Šodien jums nav jāmaksā…
– Es jau arī negrasos maksāt. Gribu tikai pārskaitīt naudu,
pirms man dodat narkozi…